New Message To: Ray Farmer

Dear Ray Farmer,

Thank you for taking the Browns reputation and potentially lowering it even further than it could possibly go. You’ve managed to put down your cell phone, and literally smash the rock that is “rock bottom” to pieces, traveling below this impossible-to-break layer.

We’ll start with this RB Terrance West trade.

You traded away a second-year back for a sack of you-know-what draft pick. Ok, so obviously West wasn’t Emmitt Smith out there, or anything like that. But the kid wasn’t terrible. And he was, despite his documented issues in the locker room, worth more than a conditional 7th round pick.

We currently have two running backs. One, a rookie that can’t even stay on the field, and another 2nd year man that’s no guarantee by any means.

Oh, glad we have another draft pick, because us Browns fans know just how great you’ve been with drafting thus far. So please, we beg, trade away our players that may have even the slightest of up-sides for you to rack up your picks which will end up being perceived-talent that completely falls through the roof.

This past free agency, it seemed as if you sat on your behind watching the rest of the league make moves. Thinking of QB Josh McCown’s current contract situation still makes the blood boil. The fact that a career journey-man that hasn’t had anything close to sustained success at any point in his career is our starting quarterback is an absolute travesty to this loyal fan base.

There is NO WAY we will win with Josh McCown. NO. WAY. But he’s our guy…

Wait, your “genius” signing of Dwayne Bowe, who by NFL terms is already collecting social security, is the best receiver we’ve got. The last time he got into the end zone was two seasons ago. And honestly, in the final preseason game he couldn’t even get separation against some players that are probably filling applications to bag groceries in their hometown as we speak. Brian Hartline was a good signing, yes, but he’s no number one receiver. And once defenses realize he’s their top man to cover, he’ll likely struggle.

Thanks for signing CB Tramon Williams. Like, he’s actually a good corner that will help us this season. This makes total sense since you didn’t waste the #8 pick of the previous draft on a corner back that doesn’t have a clue out there. You basically said, “Yeah, I F*****D up” by the Williams signing.

Our coaches already mess up enough on their own and don’t need your “expertise” by sending text messages down to the sideline. You should’ve instead been in the bathroom taking a look in the mirror thinking of the piss-poor moves you’ve made since your tenure as Browns GM began. Give the coaches a team to work with, and sit there and watch the game like the rest of the GM’s do.

And of course, we have to talk about Johnny Manziel. Oddly enough, he seems like one of the “Farmer guys” on the team that actually may still have a chance to be successful. But as of now, the only thing he’s been successful at is getting injured, and until he proves himself there’s nothing to brag about there. If we get to that point, this’ll just be Bridgewater, uh, oops, actually meant water under the bridge. *Nervous laugh* Yeah, Teddy B…the guy you should’ve drafted as our quarterback that night. He’s going places in Minnesota.

You know who else is going places? Sammy Watkins, Mike Evans, Odell Beckham and a few others wide receivers that are not wearing orange and brown this season. In case you didn’t notice. BUT WE GOT DWAYNE BOWE, SO WHO CARES?

It’s sad that this fan base gets crushed when a guy like WR Josh Lenz doesn’t make the team. Terrelle Pryor is a cute story, and a player that definitely has some upside. However, the wideout didn’t even catch a ball this preseason and clearly seems prone to injury. What is the likelihood that he becomes something in this league. If you think about it, wouldn’t Lenz have just as much if not a better chance for success?

Ok, just let another team reap his benefit. He’s destined to score three touchdowns against us.

Ray Farmer, you’ve done very little to positively impact an already decimated franchise. This year is already looking like one of failure, and the Browns’ difficult schedule does not help either. Stop trying to out-smart everyone, or take the unconventional way to greatness. Get some football players on this team that actually know how to play, or you’ll soon be able to text your entire contacts list on Sunday’s from the comfort of your living room.

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