February 25, 2024

Cleveland Sports Talk Reportedly Honoring Owner For Doing Absolutely Nothing


In light of the fact that owner Zach Shafron’s birthday is today, we here at Cleveland Sports Talk have an exciting announcement.

In light of his absolutely non-existent contributions in any meaningful way to CST, Zach Shafron’s birthday will be spent thanking and commending him for sitting on his hands while we grind ourselves away, writing articles and keeping the website afloat.

“Wait, who?” Staff writer Kenny Nichols reportedly had to say, when asked if he appreciated Shafron’s commitment to the betterment of CST

“Oh, that guy! Yeah, I remember that guy!” he continued “that’s the guy who spams Twitter all the time with Andrew’s crappy articles, isn’t it?”

“When he begged me to join CST a few months ago, I figured out the type of guy he would be as our owner” another staff writer, Samuel Evans, chimed in, implying that Shafron does a phenomenal job at recruiting writers when he decides to get off his ass every 5-6 months or so and do something.

After several staff members, Collin Sturchio most prominently, were found rightfully urinating in Shafron’s honorary birthday cake, the staff mailed the cake off to other writer Andrew Baillargeon, who promised to have a ‘small chat’ with Shafron in delivering the cake, after Shafron talked what Baillargeon described as “shit” about our overlord Matthew Dellavedova.


In all genuine sincerity, I ask that the followers of Cleveland Sports Talk here join us in wishing our head of operations, head honcho Zach here a happy birthday! The site truly wouldn’t be where it is today without Zach’s work and dedication!

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